Amanda Wyss: Giving Shout-Outs From Beyond The Grave!

It was a quiet night in the Wyss household.  Sweet dreams were being had by everyone.  Well, everyone but little Amanda that is.  She stayed up late poking around RBM; leaving horrible comments with bad language and terrible punctuation.  We were left with no choice but to send her to our complaint department….

Heavy Metal Monday: 2/8/2010

After a few weeks of expelling horrible gelatinous blobs from my skull, plus a sweet re-charge thanks to new killer days off, Heavy Metal Monday has returned!  I’ve spent two beer and whiskey soaked nights rocking my brains out, yet my body still begs for more.  To keep the good times a rollin’, I decided to call upon the foppish fucks from HELIX to help us out.

Date Of Final “LOST” Episode Revealed!

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse rapped a bit with Jimmy about the premier episode of LOST: The Final Season.  Many a funny word was spoken, but nothing was more mind blowing than the JARHEAD bomb they dropped on our laps at the end of the interview…

Pour A Few Out For: Zelda Rubinstein 528/1933 – 1/27/2010

As if Charon wasn’t making enough coin rowing celebs to the gates of Hades last year, he has decided to take another cinematic great along for the 2010 ride.  Famed actress/other worldly sorceress Zelda Rubinstein has joined those taken from us and ventured into the light.  From PopEater:

Pour One Out For: Howard Zinn 8/24/1922 – 1/27/2010

written by guest author:  “Professor” John Peabody

Very few people outside of the halls of academia have probably ever heard of Howard Zinn. A professor emeritus of history at Boston University, Zinn suffered a heart attack on the 27th of January in 2010. He died. Nothing greatly exciting about that. Death is boring, except the fact that a person shits their pants when they die. Poop jokes are still funny no matter what age a person is.

Crazy Crap: “LOST” Poster

The show that has more people deep in theory debates than the nut-bars of Area 51, is drawing to a close.  In honor of this sad yet relieving event, I have decided to display this rather bitchin’ LOST poster. 

Song Of The Day

Monty Python: The Lumberjack Song

We should all thank the boys of Monty Python for vocalizing the feelings of us blue collared workers.

Song Of The Day

Lady Gaga: Bad Romance

She is starting to remind me of a super hot girl version of Alice Cooper.  Mostly cuz of her theatrical way of doing stuffs.

LOST: “Real Time” 815 Crash

Why does this video make me want to watch something with Kiefer Sutherland in it?

Heavy Metal Monday: 1/18/10

Yes.  I have already used Judas Priest on a previous Heavy Metal Monday.  But due to certain circumstances on the outer side of my windows, I have decided that today is perfect for some Priest.  Besides, as the great Dan Goldberg once said:  “Judas Fucking Priest rules, dude!!!“.  Now how can ANYONE argue with that?

Presidential Porking

Apparently frequent boinking in the White House is part of the president’s job, right along with fellating office staff.

Official Trailer For “The Karate Kid” Remake

Like every other remake of ’80s themed movies, this is an atrocity.  Having Jackie Chan play Mr. Miyagi is just one of the many things that set my brain cells on fire.  Taking a beloved classic like The Karate Kid, lacing it with hip-hop and inventing new layered training exercises, doesn’t make you a cleaver writer/director.  Neither does changing a teen with a massive chip on his shoulder into a thug from the hood.  I will be watching the REAL Karate Kid all day and night in protest.

Song Of The Day: 1/15/10

The Ramones: Pet Sematary

Should that horrible time come when I expire, I’d rather not be buried in that cemetery either.  Place my body on a ship, load it with my most precious possessions, find a willing sexy lady to go with me, push me out to sea, then light that fucker on fire.

CoCo Says “No No!”

After only seven short months as host of The Tonight Show, late night comedic god Conan O’Brien has been asked that his show be moved to a different time because Jay Leno needs more room for his chin.  Yahoo has all the details:

Crazy Crap: Skateboarding Joker

This actually IS Heath “The Joker” Ledger performing a victory kick-flip over Christian “Batman” Bale.  This was taken on the set of The Dark Knight, and it was known by most that Ledger loved to spend time shredding between shots.  Don’t believe me?  Just read this article, then stick your foot deep in yer mouth.

Song Of The Day: 1/9/10

BIG BOY: P.A.B. (Penis Asshole and Balls)

I wanna show you all three parts!

State of the Union Address; A Sacrifice The Island Demands

Set sphincters to relax, all you 815 Survivors and Others.  The Island has made it so the State of the Union Address will not interfere with the February 2nd Season 6 premier of LOST.  It’s true!  I know cuz FOX News says so:

Song Of The Day: 1/8/10

Hoots is right.  Put that fucker DOWN!  If you don’t, he’ll vomit gross pellets on you.

Thursday Throwbacks: 1/7/10

Protect the weak, defenseless, helpless, and fight for the general welfare of all.  Basic rules to live by when you’re a chivalrous fuck.  Any man of stout heart should have no trouble abiding by these tenants, yet some fumble constantly.  It’s not their fault; no sir.  Damsels in distress cause more bullshit in the life of a knight than there is bacon on a Wendy’s Baconator. Today’s cartoon will prove that very thing.

Hatchet To The Head: “The Viking Sagas”

“A virgin’s blood heals even mortal wounds.”

Why does there always have to be that ONE guy who fucks things up for everyone?  Seriously.  You can’t even bring ancient traditions to a new land without some dick starting shit.  But for every dick, there’s a dude.  A righteous dude.  A patient dude who waits for the perfect time to strike that dick down, or for prophecy to call upon him to do the same.  That dude is Kjartan.